Platform 327

A couple of funny things came up regarding the economy today that I thought I’d share.

First off, I got an idea that would probably make a ridiculously complicated game, but maybe a funny skit: Monopoly: 2008 Economics Edition! It would go something like this:

I own the Electric Company, and you own the B&O Railroad. You need some extra cash, so I’ll buy the rail lines from you and lease them back to you for for 50 years. I can now add that projected long-term income to my balance sheet and use that to float a loan to buy the Water Works, issue more shares, and then borrow from the bank to buy back the shares I just issued. The bank then converts that loan into an equity investment which allows me to issue even more shares which I use as leverage to buy hotels on the Boardwalk. These hotels are committed to purchasing water and power from my own utilities, therefore I can again add some projected long-term income to my balance sheet, get another loan from the bank, buy the Free Parking Lot and convert it to a condominium development and shopping complex. The bank doesn’t have any money to loan for this project, so it creates an investment vehicle that it can sell to its retirement-plan clients. Everything works swimmingly until the next person passes “Go,” discovers the bank doesn’t have $200, and nobody wants to play anymore.

The other amusing thing that came up today was something a friend sent me via email from the Edmonton Sun:

“If you’d bought $1,000 of Nortel stock a year ago, it’d be worth $49 today. A thousand bucks of CanWest Global 12 months ago would fetch $80 today. WorldCom stock? Now worth $5. But had you purchased $1,000 of cheap wine a year ago and drank it all, the bottle depot would give you $100 for the empties. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.”

Stuff like this makes me glad my family doesn’t Christmas shop.

Bet you thought you’d never see another fucking Rogers post on this blog again, eh? After all, I cancelled their Internet service back in April, and their cable TV service almost 2 years ago. You’d think it would be a done deal, that they would get the hint.

Apparently not. Now they’re sending fuckos to my door leaving notes that say, “Sorry I missed you! During a recent external inspection of our Cable Service at this address, we noticed that the cable service was mistakenly left connected, but our records do not show anyone on billing at this time. To avoid loss of service and a reconnect fee of $74.99, please call our representative!”

I swear I’ve never seen a company with such a Fatal Attraction thing for its customers. I’ve left you, Ted Rogers. Stop stalking me.

I’m keeping this little letter, because they actually use the word “mistakenly” to describe their conduct in this matter. Having that sort of language in writing may come in handy if they decide to do something sneaky. They do, after all, still have my credit card info on file.

And if they have the stones to charge people $75 just to start the monthly gouging, they sure as hell ain’t getting any more business from me.

Yeah, I know it’s the NDP, but at least someone in government is speaking out about it.

They’re saying it’ll take 2 years for the new batch of wireless competitors to come online after the government’s wireless spectrum auction. I, for one, will be happy to jump ship when that day comes.

You know when you tell companies to stop calling you with “courtesy calls” and special offers, stop calling on your cell phone, stop calling you at work, and they still do it? That’s what Rogers has been doing to me for months. Yesterday, I finally told one of the telemarketing drones to take me off of the marketing list for all offers, or I would cancel my account.

This morning, on my cell phone and at work, Rogers gave me a “courtesy call.”

This evening, I courteously cancelled all of my Rogers services. Sure, they’ll probably keep calling me for years, but at least I won’t be paying them to do so. Fucktards.

Don’t forget to go out to the store and buy your discounted sugary treats! And when you’re done, sign up for the class-action lawsuit being filed against Canada’s chocolate manufacturers. It’s not like there are any real problems in the world or anything. While we’re at it, let’s sue Sony for making Playstation 3s too expensive, or McDonald’s for inflating the price of burgers. Hell, let’s just sue everybody! It’s an American-style litigation! And if those lawyers don’t get us the money they’ve promised, we’ll sue them with other lawyers! Yeee-haw!

Uh-oh. I’ve probably said enough to get myself sued.

Why the hell not? I’m not driving, and there’s no place I have to be.

In fact, I’m elbows-deep in a little home-based project that I’ve been putting off for a long time. All the crap that has been packed in boxes for years is coming out, and being categorized according to it’s value, be it practical, monetary or sentimental. Anything practical is being kept. Items in the other 2 categories are getting digital photographs taken of them, and being thrown out, donated, or planned for sale as needed. I’ve already freed myself of a full giant Rubbermaid box of junk that served no purpose other than to break backs on moving day. A few hundred digital photos of stuff I never use or look at will be a lot easier to lug around than all that stuff.

Speaking of home-based projects, I’ve also just ordered all the stuff I’m going to need to do transcription work from home — the software, hardware and extra RAM for my computer. I’ve been thinking of doing some transcription work from home to make some extra money so as to kill that high-interest loan of mine. I was going to hold off, but we got word from the union on Friday that a strike vote will be happening soon due to the company’s douchebaggery during negotiations. Knowing people in HR, I can see why the people on the company side are doing what they’re doing. The company is being sold, they’ll likely be fired, and they’ll be looking for work soon. The last thing they want on a resume is, “Rolled over and gave new union everything they wanted.” Still, I’m getting real sick of the union and the company playing these stupid little games with my life. Time to get my own shit started.

My PDA is broke, and I need a new one. I went to Factory Direct and… well, I’ll just let the letter I sent to those assholes speak for itself:

TO: toronto@factorydirect.ca
RE: The Final Straw

To Whom It May Concern,

As a Factory Direct customer for years, I have grown to expect low-quality customer service in exchange for price. Today, however, marks the last day I set foot into any Factory Direct store.

I came in looking for the Palm m505 PDA that was advertised for $49.99 (after a $20 mail-in rebate), and listed as “in stock” at your store. After more than a half hour of waiting to speak with a store employee (typical, even on a weekday afternoon), I was informed that although the computer said the item was in stock, that it was “probably” in the back, and that I should come back “in a few days” to see if they have managed to unpack it.

This is October 10, and the rebate offer is good until October 12. In “a few days,” the advertised rebate period for this item will have expired. Whether this situation is due to incompetence or deliberate fraud, it is unprofessional and unacceptable. I will be making no further purchases from Factory Direct as a result.

Gotta stop rewarding stupidity sometime, right? “Yes, we have the item you’re looking for in stock, but you can’t have it at the advertised price.” Fuck you. I mean shit, that’s borderline illegal, is it not?

The Toronto Star reported yesterday that the organizers of the insipid Wakestock event (no link because I don’t want to give them the hit count) that took place on the Islands this past weekend hacked the limbs off of old-growth trees in a public park so that a bunch of jerks could jump their little motorcycles higher. Torontoist and Spacing are hosting discussions on the subject.

So someone in the city who has a tree on their own property that they want to cut down can’t do a damn thing about it, but a one-day event in a public park can hack trees down willy-nilly, no problem? Since I haven’t seen any reaction from the city in today’s news, it seems like that’s the case. I’m surprised the usually-vocal Toronto Islands residents haven’t raised a big stink about this themselves.

What gets me is the fact that even if the City levied fines against the organizers and sponsors of Wakestock, they would just list it as the “cost of doing business,” write it off on their income taxes and get their fines paid for by the Federal government (read we, the taxpayers).

How difficult would it be to change the tax laws to that fines for criminal behaviour are not considered tax-creditable losses? If fines actually impacted the bottom line of a corporation, the shareholders would be more motivated to ensure that their company acted in a responsible manner, would they not?

I’ll forgo the rant about politicians and corporations for now. On the Wakestock issue, I only do business with one of their corporate sponsors, Telus, and the alternative service providers in the cell phone industry aren’t much better. Maybe I’ll write them a letter, or maybe I will change cell phone providers. Primus has cell service, and they give Air Miles.